Our Story is my Favorite

Our Story is My Favorite: Jonathan and Kaleigh 

I never really considered myself to be beautiful. I have certain physical issues that have always made it hard for me to feel secure about who I am.  Candidly speaking I have a hereditary condition that has caused one of my eyes to not align properly, causing it to wander. My family has always tried to show me how pretty I am, but I never saw it. Neither did the opposite sex, it seemed. People have always asked awkward questions about my physical difference regarding vision, and I’ve always felt like an outsider looking in, never really feeling including in the whole game of romance.

                In short, I felt ugly.

                Until I met the person I knew I was going to marry.

We met when he was serving a mission for the LDS church in my home town and started corresponding with one another through e-mail.

I’d tease him about his red hair.

 
He would tease me about my habit of not wearing shoes.

 When he was released as a missionary, he returned back to his mission area to go to school, and to date me (he admitted later on that it was really to just date me). During that time he was sweet and a lot of fun to hang out with. Our first official date consisted of getting lost while hiking, and getting completely covered in dirt! I didn’t understand why he liked me though. I never really felt like I was attractive. His behavior confused me.

“You are beautiful,” he would always remind me, “You are so much more beautiful than you realize.”

He always tried to explain how special and unique I was. How he appreciated everything about me. How he believed I was beautiful inside and out.

It always brought tears to my eyes hearing those words. No guy I liked had ever said those words to me before.

                When we were pretty serious about each other, he hinted that he wanted to propose. Of course like most women I was excited and inwardly squealing (we’ve all done it!). He tried three separate times to propose to me, each on unsuccessful for various reasons out of his control. He felt so bad that things just weren’t perfect and romantic. I sort of just stopped expecting a proposal and was content with spending time with the guy I loved. When we got engaged things would be perfect I knew that.

                And they were.

                One night, during finals week, he took me to a reunion of several of his mission companions and then back to his apartment so we could work on homework. Being extremely tired from studying I assumed nothing was out of the ordinary and spent the evening perfecting an essay. When it was getting late, he offered to walk me home. I heartily agreed. I loved it when he walked with me.

                The night was beautiful. A light drizzle of ran pattered on our heads as we walked quietly back towards my dorm. It was all so peaceful.

When we reached the duck pond near my dorm, he pulled out a bag of bread.

                “I know I promised that we would feed the ducks,” he remarked with a smile.

                Call me corny, but I was thrilled! I love feeding ducks!

                So we spent the next ten minutes feeding ducks. We were swarmed by them! It was wonderful. Then, when the bread was gone, I started to chase after them so we could have a path to walk home on. And it was as I was chasing the quaking ducks that the person I love cleared his throat and softly said my name.

                When I turned around he was standing right behind me. He slowly got down on one knee, soaking his jeans with rain water and opened a small box.

                “I love you,” He stated hesitantly, “Will you…will you marry me?”

                My reaction?

                “Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!” I was so surprised! And overjoyed! I didn’t know what to say at first!

                I promptly tackled him repeating the word ‘YES!’ several times as he laughed and hugged me to him.

                “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in my ear, “Never forget how beautiful you are to me. I love you.”

 

'Tis the Season

I"ve been doing a lot of thinking now that school is out until the new year. What I've come to realize is that time goes by so fast! I cannot believe it is already Christmas time again. Can you? It's been a whole year of adventures and now is the time for reflection and appeciation for the blessings that we've been given. For instance:

1. This year I've had the opportunity to continue with my schooling. I've finished two full semesters and two full summer terms. That's a lot of schooling! And I'm grateful for the opportunity to go and finish my education. It means a lot to me.
2. This year we've moved into a bigger place. It sure is nice to have more room. I really like our apartment and hope that I can finish decorating so that it looks more like a home!
3. Two of my brothers have done amazing things this year. My brother, Dan, has gone into the Army. I'm so impressed by his determination. And now he has his own little growing family! It's wonderful how far he's come. My other brother, Ben, is currently serving a misison in Ghana right now! How cool is that? I try to write him each week and see how he's doing. It amazes me to see how much his testimony has grown and howmuch work he has done. I love hearing from him!
4. We've had some additions to our family! Our first addition has been our amazing son Hudson. I can't believe that he'll be one in a few weeks! It's really flown by. Watching him grow and learn has been such a joy. He's the sweetest child and I love him so much. Our other addition has been Jonathan's sister. She has really brought a unique dynamic into our home. I'm grateful that she's here and hope that she's having a good time out in Utah. It's been fun having her out here.
5. There have been some notable losses to our family. First, in February we said goodbye to my uncle. It was a really hard event for my father to see his brother go, but we know that he is in a better place. I'm so grateful to have him as a member of my family. The other loss was in July. My grandfather passed away around the fourth after a brief illness. He was such a wonderful grandfather and I love and miss him. This has been a really hard year for my Dad. I know that he loves his family so much he knows how we will always be a family forever.

And what's on the horizon? There are a lot of things that will happen this coming year. Hopefully we'll remember the reason for the season and keep our perspective on Christ's love and sacrifice for us. No matter what happens this year, if we have the Lord in our hearts, we can overcome all things...

And that's all I have to say on that! :)

Things I'm Grateful For:

It seems fitting that I should discuss my gratitude during this month of thanksgiving. There are so many different thigns that I'm grateful for and I hope that I can capture all of them for you.

1. I'm grateful for my family. We're loud, large, and fun. We're happy and we love one another without reserve. I know that I can always count on my family to be there for me. I think I have more true friends in my family than anyone else. I'm thankful for the experiences they've share with me and I know that many more await!

2. I'm grateful for my husband. I don't know where I would stand without him sometimes. He sees me in a light that I cannot see myself. He loves everything about me and strives to show me how important I am (especially when I believe otherwise.) I'm thankful everyday for the joy he brings me.

3. I am grateful for my children. They are such joys to be around. They are so happy and give me so many blessings that I feel so overwhelmed by the love that I receive from them. I can't understand why I am so fortunate to have three amazing children who love me unconditionally. They truly are a treasure beyond worth.

4. I am thankful for the friends who love me and have inspire me throughout our friendship. They are a part of my family and will remain that way forever. I love each of them with my whole heart. You--my dear and darling friends--don't understand how much I truly cherish your friendship and love and how amazing you are. You have blessed my life in so many ways. I am forever and eternally grateful and honored to have had the time to know you. Thank you for being my friends.

5. I am thankful for the gospel and my Lord and Savior. I have been so blessed and honored by the Lord. My heart is full of humility for his never ending love and his sincere knowledge of who I am as an individual. I am so thankful that he has taken the time to know who I am. And I am humbled by his sacrifice on my imperfect behalf. I don't know where I'd be without my faith in eternity and my gospel and Heavenly Fahter. they complete who I am.

A Sense of Gratitude.

Sometimes I have to wonder about life. There are so many twists and turns that it is often hard to wrap my head around what is going on around me. Call it stress, or simply life, but no matter how you look at it, it is complex, no? Well at least that's how I feel.

Which makes me even more grateful for the fact that I have an anchor to keep me grounded. Through all the tough times, the hard times, the stressful times, the happy times, the sad time, you name it. I have something that always keeps me level and brings me home: The Lord. How many people forget that they are children of God? How many people believe that there is no one out there to hear them when they cry or when they feel pain? How many believe that no one understands? Too many.

Too many times people neglect the awesome power of prayer and the comfort of the Lord. Too many times do they forget how special and amazing they are. Too many times do they believe what others tell them: "You aren't good enough," "You're so annoying," "You're worthless." They aren't true. No matter who tells them to you, you are worth something! You are special! You are amazing and wonderful and unique! No one could ever replace you. Never stop to consider their words.

The Lord, my anchor, helps me realize these things. When I am in the gall of bitterness and sadness; when I feel as though I'm alone and no one might understand me feelings; when the world seems to be moving a mile a minute and I can't draw a breath, I have to remind myself of who I am. I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me, who hears me, who KNOWS me, who listens, and who will never reject me. No matter how stupid my problems may be, no matter how undeserving I am of his love, he is always there. And for that I am eternally grateful.

It's hard sometimes to feel loved. I'm a perfectionist and when I feel as though I've let my Lord down, I harbor so much pain and regret. What I've discovered, slowly, though is that He loves me all the same. He forgives me so much quicker than I forgive myself. He's far kinder than I am to myself. Why should I feel so terrible when he pours out so much love? It's a slow process but I'll get to the point, one day, when I can trust him before myself, and have a higher opinion of my personal worth. One day.

For now, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am loved, despite my faults.

Thoughts

Yes, I realize that I said that I'd update sooner. However, life has been super hectic and I've been so busy trying to keep up with it all! We welcomed Jonathan sister into our new apartment. And all I can say is that it's been a blast having her here. She's going to be finishing up her high school education here in Utah and then apply to go to U of U or BYU or UVU. She's not completely certain about that yet. She's certainly smart enough to get into any school she chooses.

Also, we've been unpacking, organizing, and getting ready to send my brother off on his mission (but I'll post more about that soon so I don't get all teary-eyed right now). So, sorry for the sparse updates. I'm going to be taking pictures here in the next few days of our apartment and the progress that we've made so far.

That's all I really have for now. I promise to post again soon.

Packing, Working, Writing, Mommy-ing (?)...

Can you say that life is hectic? We've been so busy around here that I've hardly had a moment to sit and think let alone write! Thankfully I got something written yesterday! (yeah you probably aren't as enthused as I am about that) and I've had a very productive (though rather tiring) week. I've gotten all of our baby clothes that Hannah can't wear and the ones that Huddy has outgrown put into a space back and compressed neatly into a small block. That was a lot of clothing to go through I'll tell ya! But, it will be useful for whenever we decide to have more children, or if I decide to donate them. They are safe and dry and that's all that matters.

The reason I went through the clothing is because we're moving. We're only going across town, but we still ahve to go through the whole spiel of packing and sorting. It's rather annoying and frustrating, but it's a good way to get organized I suppose. We've also been having people come by throughout the week to look at our house. That's a rather unusual feeling really; complete strangers walking in on your life and picking apart whether or not they want to take over your home. Weird eh?

And schools been pounding down fiercely. I had two big tests this week and tons of assignments that needed to be handed in. It's been a lot of late night study session, homework sessions, research sessions, and moments of prayer where I needed to search for inspiration and motivation. It's been a long and fruitful, if not challenging week.

On the plus side, it's FRIDAY! Hooray. I still have tons to get done but I have my awesome babies to help me...it shall be an adventure!

Next post will probably detail our move. So be on the look out for that!

Precious

Sometimes I feel like I can't get enough of my kids...and that I don't show them often enough how much they mean to me. Today, for instance, they were cranky and stubborn and I was frustrated at many points in the evening. I was trying to have a Family Home Evening lesson with them and Liam wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. But, we suffered through it and then off to bed they trotted. But, as I was sitting here, watching a video about how we are all children of God, I felt this sadness creep over. How much time do I really spend with my children? Are they happy with me as their mother? I sure hope so. I want to be the best mother I can be for them. I know I don't always give them the time they deserve, but I've made a promise to make sure they know each and every day how much they mean to me and how much I love them.

They are too precious to me. And I know that I am greatly and eternally blessed to have this opportunity to be their mother. I just pray that I'm adequate!

I love this video. I Am a Child of God and so are you.